The Best Questions to Ask to Get to Know People

You’re sitting on the beach with a beer, laughing your head off with your best friend. Twenty years slipped by like it was yesterday. Yet, this person has been with you through the thick and thin of life, and you can’t imagine any other pal by your side.

It’s hard to remember when you don’t know each other. Believe it or not, you once had to get to know your bestie. All our friends started as strangers.

To help you deepen the relationships in your life, we’ve put together a guide of the right questions to ask to get to know people better. By the end of this read, you’ll be ready to start strengthening bonds and creating lasting relationships.

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Get to know a new pal on an adventure!

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Easy Small Talk and “Get to Know You” Questions for Coworkers or New Friends

These casual questions can help spark engaging conversations and make small talk more enjoyable. Remember to listen actively and show genuine interest in the other person’s answers to create a meaningful connection. Whether they’re a coworker or potential new pal, relationships have to start somewhere.

Who knows—these seemingly simple questions could be the start of a beautiful friendship!

1. What do you do for a living?
2. How do you like to spend your weekends?
3. What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day?
4. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
5. What is your favorite hobby or pastime?
6. What is the last book you read or movie you watched? Did you enjoy it?
7. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
8. What’s your favorite type of music or favorite artist/band?
9. Do you have any pets? If so, tell me about them.
10. What’s your favorite restaurant or type of cuisine?
11. Did you have a favorite subject in school? What was it?
12. What was the best vacation you’ve ever taken?
13. If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be and why?
14. What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn or try but haven’t yet?
15. Tell us which reality show is your guilty pleasure.
16. What’s your favorite season and why?
17. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
18. What is something that always makes you smile or laugh?
19. How do you spend your free time?
20. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
21. Do you prefer spending time indoors or outdoors?
22. What’s an interesting fact about yourself that most people don’t know?
23. What are some goals or dreams you have for the future?
24. What’s the best concert you ever saw?
25. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? How do you know?
26. What’s your go-to karaoke song?
27. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
28. Who was your celebrity crush as a kid?
29. Do you have an irrational fear?
30. What’s your favorite movie?
31. What was your first job?
32. Where is your favorite place to travel?
33. Do you have any favorite podcasts?

Somewhat More Personal Questions for Adults

If you’ve exhausted the list of small talk and are ready to test out the next level of friendship, it can be helpful to ask more deep questions.

These thought-provoking questions will help you get to know someone on a deeper level and allow them to open up about their true feelings, passions, and interests.

1. What TV show character reminds you the most of yourself?
2. What job did you think you’d end up with after high school? Are you happy with how it turned out?
3. Pick one of your best personality traits, and tell me how you use it.
4. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
5. Would you prefer to celebrate your favorite holiday with your family members or friends?
6. Describe your absolutely perfect day.
7. Where was the best first date you ever went on?
8. What fictional character most resonates with you?
9. What is a relationship deal breaker for you?
10. Tell us about the craziest thing you did to win an ex back.
11. Who is your best friend, and why?
12. What is your biggest fear?
13. How do you feel about your work-life balance?
14. What experience is at the top of your bucket list?
15. If you could redo one day in your life, what is your biggest regret you would change?
16. What’s the one thing you would change about yourself if you could?
17. Who or what has helped shape your life decisions and why?
18. Would you rather have a stay-at-home job or a traveling job?
19. Which family member do you admire most and why?
20. Do you believe in fate, soulmates, or true love?
21. What would you do with your last day on Earth if you knew it was coming?
22. What’s the best piece of advice someone has ever given to you?
23. If money and time weren’t a factor, where would you live?
24. What is the most important quality to look for in a partner?
25. What has been the best moment of your life so far?
26. Share with me one thing you did that took a lot of courage.
27. If you could wake up tomorrow in someone else’s body, who would it be and why?
28. What is something you have done that makes you feel proud?
29. Tell me about one time when your intuition was spot-on.
30. When was the last time you felt genuinely content?
31. What do you think is the key to a successful relationship or marriage?
32. Do you have goals or dreams that haven’t been fulfilled yet?
33. Are there any hobbies or activities you’ve been wanting to pursue but are nervous to start?
34. What is a cause that strongly resonates with you and why?
35. Do you prefer to live spontaneously or plan ahead of time?
36. What experience makes you feel alive?
37. When was the last time you did something meaningful for someone else?
38. How did it feel the first time you left the country?

Questions to Ask to Get to Know People on the First Few Dates

If you’re nervous about getting to know someone on a first date, asking some questions can help calm your nerves and start the conversation. These questions will help you determine if there’s real potential for chemistry or if it’s more of an initial friendship.

1. What do you value most in a relationship?
2. How do you handle conflict in relationships?
3. Do you have any deal breakers when it comes to dating someone?
4. What type of person are you attracted to the most?
5. What characteristics do you look for in a partner?
6. Do you have many close friends who have been married or in long-term relationships? What did you learn from them about successful partnerships?
7. How do you handle stress?
8. Do you like trying new things or sticking to what’s familiar?
9. Are you open to moving, or are your roots planted here?
10. What’s something that makes you laugh uncontrollably?
11. Do you know your love language? If so, what is it?
12. What are your hopes, dreams, and aspirations for the future?
13. What’s your go-to Netflix show after a long day at work?
14. What kind of adventures would you like to take with your partner?
15. Do you prefer going out or staying in for the night?
16. Are you interested in raising kids?
17. Do you prefer talking on the phone or texting?
18. What would be your ideal way to spend a weekend together?
19. How do you show affection for someone important to you?
20. What is your definition of a perfect date?
21. Do you believe in soulmates?
22. What are your thoughts on marriage?
23. What do you think will be the biggest challenge in any relationship?
24. Do you have any pet peeves you want to ensure your partner knows about?
25. Are there any topics of conversation that are off-limits for you?
26. What would be your dream job?
27. What are some of the values that guide your life decisions?
28. Are there any causes or charities that you support?
29. What do you think makes a relationship strong and lasting?
30. What’s the best piece of relationship advice that someone has ever given to you?
31. Do you believe in second chances when it comes to relationships?

Both Hilarious and Thought-Provoking “Would You Rather” Questions for Adults

“Would You Rather” questions are a terrific way to have fun, get to know each other better, and spark interesting conversations. These funny questions can be silly or thought-provoking, depending on how you spin them. From the outrageous to the mundane, these fun questions will undoubtedly provide plenty of laughs and conversation starters as you get to know someone.

1. Bring back the dinosaurs or create a time machine?
2. Explore space or dive to the deepest depths of the ocean?
3. Have super strength or be able to fly?
4. Never be able to speak again or never be able to hear again?
5. Would you rather go without your phone for a week or without makeup?
6. If stuck on a deserted island, would you rather be alone or with your mother-in-law?
7. Have an unlimited supply of money or an unlimited supply of time?
8. Live in an underwater city or a treehouse city?
9. Have x-ray vision or the ability to read minds?
10. Would you rather see what the future holds or change the past?
11. Move to a new country every year or never leave your hometown?
12. Have a superpower to turn invisible or teleport anywhere in the world at will? 
13. Be able to read people’s thoughts or speak all languages fluently?
14. Always be 10 minutes late or always arrive 10 minutes early?
15. Never break out in laughter or never get mad?
16. Be able to make any food you think of appear instantly or be able to teleport anywhere at will?
17. Experience true love once but lose it after a year or never experience true love?
18. Would you rather have free access to every concert and event in the world or free access to every restaurant in the world?
19. Never have to worry about running out of money or never have to worry about getting sick?
20. Have a fantastic singing voice or dancing skills?
21. Live life without music or books?
22. Have a personal chef that cooks you anything you want or a chauffeur that drives you anywhere you want?
23. Never feel pain or never feel happiness?
24. Live for 200 years in your current state of health or live an average life span but stay physically fit and healthy?
25. Have superhuman intelligence or be able to control the weather?
26. Would you rather have a pet unicorn or a pet dragon?
27. Live life like a big adventure, or be content with a quiet and peaceful life?
28. Would you choose never again to experience hunger or never again feel tired?
29. Live in a world where every day is always sunny and hot, or live in a world where everything is always cold and snowy?

Icebreaker Questions for Elementary School-Aged Kids

These icebreaker questions can help children start conversations and begin some of their first friendships. These questions are perfect for elementary school-aged children as they are both age-appropriate and fun.

1. If you could be any animal, which would you choose and why?
2. What superpower would you most want to have?
3. If you could create a new holiday, what would it be like?
4. What is your favorite thing to do at recess on a rainy day?
5. If a genie gave you three wishes, what would they be?
6. Name three things that make you happy.
7. Describe yourself in three words.
8. What is your favorite thing about going to school?
9. If you could make any animal a pet, which one would it be?
10. What is the most exciting thing you have ever learned about in school?
11. Tell us the name of your first imaginary friend.
12. What’s your favorite part of the school day?
13. Who is your favorite teacher?
14. What’s your favorite subject in school?
15. Share your favorite outdoor game to play at recess.
16. What would be the name of your dream pet?
17. Tell us about your best friend.
18. What’s something that always makes you laugh?
19. Who is the funniest person you know?
20. What’s your favorite memory from elementary school so far?
21. Name one thing that you always want to learn more about.
22. What’s the craziest dream you’ve ever had?
23. Describe the best vacation you ever had.
24. What is your favorite thing to do with your family?
25. What would be the first thing you buy if you won the lottery?
26. What’s your favorite bedtime story?
27. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
28. What would you do if you were in charge of the classroom for a day?
29. Tell us the best thing about being a kid.
30. Do you have a favorite game you like to play with your parents?
31. What’s the best video game?
32. When did you learn how to ride a bike? Was it hard for you?
33. What are some of your favorite truth-or-dare questions?

Interesting Questions for High School and College Students

These icebreakers can help high school and college students get to know one another at the start of the school year. In addition, these great questions will likely spark conversations about life experiences, hopes for the future, and more.

1. What is the most meaningful moment of your life so far?
2. Which book has had the biggest impact on you? Is it your favorite book?
3. If you could pick any historical era to live in, which would you choose and why?
4. If you could create a new school subject, what would it be?
5. What changes need to happen in the education system today?
6. What cause or issue are you passionate about and why?
7. What values are most important to you?
8. How can we create a more inclusive and accepting environment on campus?
9. What unique quality do you bring to the classroom?
10. How would you define success in life?
11. What would you do with a gap year if you could take one? Are you planning on it?
12. Describe some of your long-term goals for after college.
13. What do you think are the benefits of attending college?
14. If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?
15. What do you hope to achieve in high school/college?
16. If you could master any skill overnight, what would it be and why?
17. What do you think are the biggest challenges facing young adults today?
18. How do you feel about your homework load?
19. What are some of your favorite extracurricular activities and why?
20. What would you change about your school if you could?
21. Describe a moment when something you learned in class changed your thinking.
22. How did you decide to choose your major/minor?
23. What do you think is the most important thing to remember when studying?
24. If you could have another major, what would it be?
25. How has your school experience changed you as a person?
26. What are your thoughts on balancing academics with a social life?
27. Do you have any advice for incoming high school/college students?
28. How did you decide where to go to school?
29. What is the most important skill to have when attending college?
30. What are some of your favorite high school/college memories so far?
31. In what ways have you challenged yourself academically since starting school?

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Closing Thoughts

All friendships start as acquaintanceships. To create a support network of wonderful friends, you’ll have to go through the process of getting to know someone. Whether it’s coworkers, a date, or a college peer, these questions are a great way to get the conversation rolling and create a bond. Use these icebreaker questions to begin establishing connections that will grow with time!

For more ideas on breaking the ice with someone new, you can always start by saying something to brighten their day. Then, if that relationship grows, you can start planning some bucket list experiences together. Or, if things heat up and turn romantic, treat your new partner to some romantically sweet spring date ideas!

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Frequently Asked Questions