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How Artificial Intelligence is Changing Online Dating

For better or worse, AI is everywhere now, including in the dating scene. Here’s a list of some of the pros and cons of artificial intelligence dating.

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With the recent introduction of ChatGPT, the world is both amazed and a little on edge about the power of this artificial intelligence software. The online dating industry was among the first to jump on the technology. Artificial intelligence dating certainly didn’t come about with ChatGPT, as popular dating sites have been using elements of AI in their smart models increasingly over the last several years. That being said, ChatGPT, and forthcoming programs like it, certainly have the ability to change how we date. So, how much artificial intelligence is currently utilized in your dating app? What exactly does it do, and is it beneficial or scary? Let’s take a look at some of the obvious benefits of artificial intelligence dating and a few of the possible concerns.

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What is ChatGPT and generative AI?

Generative AI, which is the category that ChatGPT falls under, is basically a highly trained model that is able to produce new content by compiling information from previously made content. For instance, a generative AI model, given instruction, can produce a new photo by pulling information from billions of photos online and compiling that data into something fairly unique.

ChatGPT was released late last year (November 2022) to the general public by OpenAI, purely as a research model. It is the most blatantly useful and highly publicized AI model and has some pretty amazing features. Just by giving ChatGPT text instructions, it can write you an essay, and then tweak that essay to fit your writing style. It can produce art from text, video from text, write computer code, create a Linkedin profile, and do a great many other things.

However, it is not sentient (or human-like) AI. ChatGPT can only pull together information and arrange it into something new. It cannot fact verify as of yet, so while it may write you an essay gleaned from the information it scoured in billions of articles (in seconds by the way), that information may or may not be from trusted sources or accurate.

Ethical concerns abound about the use of this kind of model. Obviously, it poses a concern for fraudulent work both in the educational and professional realms. There are concerns over copyright issues as well, and it is likely to be discussed at length in our judicial system for many years, but how does AI affect the world of online dating?

The Power of Artificial Intelligence in Dating

Let’s start on a positive foot. The contribution of artificial intelligence in the dating world is undeniable. From the smart models that power the matching software the industry relies on to new advancements in online safety and security, AI is changing the face of dating. Here are just a few of the ways that AI might be choosing your mate.

1. Artificial intelligence dating provides better matches.

One of the reasons that people love dating apps is that it helps to narrow a gigantic sea of fish to a much smaller and more appropriate pond. AI in dating apps like Tinder, Bandoo, and Bumble can do so much more than what eHarmony could do back in the day (though eHarmony has obviously advanced now too).

AI helps ensure the perfect match by using intricate mathematical code to peruse the information of millions of people on the app, filtering through their personal data, and sending you the ones that present mathematical compatibility with your chosen parameter input. It is the foundation of the dating app. The matching algorithm ensures that common interests and preferred physical traits are present before presenting you with a match. In short, the whole essence of online dating rests on the power of artificial intelligence.

Top of the Field

Apps like Artificial Intelligence Matchmaker (AIMM) have gone even further, utilizing a chatbot to communicate with users for at least a week, getting to know them, before suggesting a possible match. AIMM’s primary developer conceived the app after spending a fortune on a private dating coach. AIMM uses AI not only to find a potential match but to coach you through the dating process, more on that later.

2. Artificial intelligence dating allows for more parameters.

Long dead are the days when you were matched with a possible date by age, gender, or physical location. AI in dating websites can now utilize content in your text messages, photos, emails, and USB storage to further discern your interests and dislikes. It can utilize your location, calendar, and much more. DNA Romance allows its users to upload a DNA profile and uses it to match daters based on genetics. With these machine learning models, data apps now have the ability to find potential matches based on whatever information you plug in and the developers design it to filter.

Hinge now asks about political affiliations, religious preferences, and more by providing prompts for users to answer regularly. It analyzes your answers and provides what it calls “standouts,” or your best possible matches. The downfall of these kinds of systems is that you have to give the Ai technology the input, so the more time you spend on the apps swiping, answering prompts, and conversing, the better your matches will be in theory.

3. Artificial intelligence dating utilizes facial recognition.

Some dating apps are now utilizing facial recognition to identify potential partners that catch your eye. As you swipe right, the system collects data on the facial features that you consistently find attractive. That way, it can suggest more appropriate matches for you in the future. Obviously, this is another instance where the more time you spend swiping, the more information you feed the system, and the more precise your matches become… in theory, at least.

4. Artificial intelligence dating can improve online safety.

AI may improve your personal experience on dating sites by filtering out unwanted attended. Tinder, as well as social media sites like Facebook and Instagram, are now using AI to peruse messages for possible harassment and inappropriate content. Hopefully, this will cut down on the number of unwanted sexual advancements and pornographic photos sent to users who did not ask for such content. Bumble has an advanced AI tool that scans and blocks unsolicited nude photos, for instance. Dating apps are reportedly working on intelligence that will help identify catfishing and scammers as well.

5. Artificial intelligence helps create your profile.

Now with ChatGPT, you can ask it to create you a dating profile. You will need to feed it some inspiration. For instance, you may say that you want it to be poetic and romantic, short and sweet, or focused on your hobbies. The more info you feed it, the better your profile will be. While this certainly has some ethical fuzziness, if you are guiding the information and being honest, you can utilize the software in a positive matter. This is helpful for folks who aren’t great writers or need help with spelling and grammar. A secondary option would be to pull your own profile into the model and let it make corrections.

6. Artificial intelligence dating apps can improve communication.

Dating AI is not only effective in helping you find the perfect match, but it might be able to improve the dating experience as well. The AI used in apps like AIMM can suggest possible dates for you, given parameters. After its week of in-depth conversation with you, AIMM connects you to a possible match via a 3-way phone call. It helps guide the conversation by giving conversation prompts that you both may be interested in and suggesting possible replies.

Some daters are turning to third-party AI to help guide their conversation too. ChatGPT has the ability to create a witty response for you if your prospective match tells a joke or a riddle. You simply tell the system what your date said, and ask it for a witty response. Is that cheating? Yes, if you reply with responses that are not consistent with your actual opinion or personality. When using AI to aid in communication, it is important to make sure that you don’t lose your own essence or pretend to be someone you aren’t.

7. Artificial Intelligence can act as a dating coach.

When struggling with any aspect of dating, some are even turning to AI for their dating advice. It can pull from billions of online articles written by dating advisors and coaches to provide advice on difficult situations. While AI certainly can’t discern emotions, and it has never been in a difficult dating scenario, it can find those who have and regurgitate the information for you. This doesn’t compare to a real-life dating coach or therapist, but it sure is cheaper! If you choose to get your dating advice for AI, just beware of how much trust you put in ChatGPT’s answers. It is always wise to bounce its “facts” off wise people that you trust, or fact-check the information yourself. It’s best used as an additional source of information, used in conjunction with professional help when needed.

8. Artificial intelligence can help curb offense.

ChatGPT is a spin-off of a previously designed language software. Apps like Tinder utilize these language models to help prevent abusive and harmful speech, even if it is unintentional. Tinder’s “Are you sure” feature analyzes messages for potentially racist, sexually inappropriate, or culturally insulting wording and asks if you really want to send that message. It also asks the user if they found your comment offensive. By analyzing language and making suggestions for alternatives, AI is helping to educate us all on cultural biases, objectionable wording, and respect.

Possible Negatives of Artificial Intelligence Dating

While there are some glaringly obvious benefits of utilizing artificial intelligence to improve user experience in the virtual dating world, there are some possible concerns as well. Let’s take a deep look at some of the concerns that have probably crossed your mind while reading the information above. Here are a few things to keep an eye out for.

1. Artificial intelligence dating sites scan your personal information.

According to a research study by Datingroo, 100% of dating apps have access to your USB storage and photos, and 90% have permission to alter that information. Eighty percent have access to your wifi information and location. Most can get access to all your contact information, your camera, and your microphone.

Remember when we said dating apps could scan photos for information? They aren’t just scanning photos and messages you enter on the dating site. They have permission to scan your text messages, TikTok videos, or photo gallery looking for hobbies or other useful information. Obviously, these sites must ask for that permission from you, but in order to truly benefit from the power of the model, you kind of have to accept.

2. Artificial intelligence dating profiles can be faked.

While developers are working hard to flag catfishers and false profiles, the emergence of ChatGPT and its ability to create relatively unique profiles presents some concerns. Is the person you are chatting to utilizing ChatGPT’s wit instead of their own to formulate responses? Are they truly that romantic, or are they using AI to write that poetry?

While most people probably aren’t using AI in this way, it does introduce doubt. As it stands now, AI is no match for your human discernment. Using video chats instead of texting, meeting for real-life dates instead of settling for virtual reality, and trusting your gut on red flags are still your best bet. Remember that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Even the most successful long-term couples disagree on major issues, have separate hobbies, and vary wildly in levels of chemistry. Artificial intelligence can only get you so far.

3. Artificial intelligence dating can be too specific.

Ever heard that old adage that “opposites attract?” There is some major truth to that statement. Survey most successful marriages and you will find that one is thrifty while the other is a spender. One is a morning person, while the other loves sleeping in. Partner number one is a multi-sport athlete, and partner two just enjoys watching, or would rather be shopping. Sometimes, even physical preferences are absent in the eventual life match.

The point is that while the AI-based matching models used in dating apps can help to identify possible matches, they could also be sorting out possibles too. Sometimes, in the real world, your love match looks nothing like you envisioned they would.

Writer’s Note

I can personally attest to this one. When I was a single woman, I had a “no one under 6’2” rule.” My physical preference was tall men who were the life of the party. However, the two great loves of my life were not much taller than me at 5’6.” My husband of 18 years stands 5’7” tall, is quiet and shy, and is my opposite in almost every parameter imaginable. Yet, I can’t imagine life without him. I say all that just to reinforce that life experience and in-person chemistry matter. Obviously, as smart as AI is, it has no emotions or hormones. So, utilize the dating app, but don’t let it replace or supersede that flash of interest you got when you spoke to that new coworker or neighbor. You are likely more open-minded than the algorithm has the ability to be.

Use it. Don’t abuse it.

While none of these downfalls should prevent you from using AI to find love, they should cause you to think deeply about how much trust you put in the process. AI isn’t going anywhere, with more and more talk of the Metaverse becoming a possible reality, and AI already being utilized in sales, education, and social media, we as humans will have to rely on our own sensibilities to sort through the negatives and utilize the positives to our advantage. This obviously applies to the dating world as well.

Dating apps are for suggesting possible matches. As technology advances, the future of dating will evolve, but it will always rely heavily on real-life dates and conversations. It’s important to remember that while AI may make you look or sound better, eventually you will have to back up the persona you have created with real-life conversation. Utilize the technology to present the best version of yourself, not to create an alternate identity that reflects who you wish to be. You’re looking for a real love match, not someone who loves you for your artificial persona. Don’t abuse cool technology to waste your own time and the time of others.

Closing Thoughts

Now that you know all the ins and outs of artificial intelligence dating, how do you feel about it? Is using AI a way to improve our love lives, or is it concerning for authenticity? Is it both? Let us know your feelings in the comments.

Are you ready to take your potential match out in real life? Take some cues from “52 Conversation Prompts for Couples” to make sure your first conversations are meaningful ones!

Have you found your love match? Nurture your romance with romance tips from “The 30 Best Apps for Couples.”

Frequently Asked Questions

Do dating apps use artificial intelligence?

Dating apps do utilize AI in varying degrees by flagging inappropriate language, perusing photos and texts for personal information, and utilizing chatbots to collect data.

How do apps like Tinder use artificial intelligence?

Yes! Tinder uses AI language technology to improve online safety, peruse personal information on social media, and guide respectful conversation.

I found a possible match on a dating app, now what?

Congratulations! Now that you have a potential partner, you need the perfect first date. Check out Adventures From Scratch: Date Edition for creative ideas and conversation starters!

Can you trust AI in dating apps?

AI is generally used in dating apps to create better matches and guide conversation. Use your personal judgment though, as some daters use ChatGPT to create responses and their profile.

Can AI help with dating conversations?

AI can help in dating conversations by writing poems, witty responses, and correcting grammar in text conversations. For real-life dates, the conversation prompts in a dating adventure book can help!

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