It may seem like it was just yesterday that you brought your first, second, or third child home from the hospital. Now, it might feel as if the past decade-plus has been a film that\u2019s been on fast-forward from the very beginning. As the flick plays in your head, you may recall countless playdates, band practices, scout meetings, and family outings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While you may revel in the images that combine to make that movie playing in your head, there\u2019s a chance that you\u2019ll still suffer from empty nest syndrome when your last child leaves the figurative coop. When kids leave the house for good, it can be difficult for parents and caregivers to adjust to their new roles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although it can be challenging for those left behind when a child leaves home once and for all, it\u2019s not impossible for you to move forward in a positive way. Just like your adult children are embarking on a new chapter of their lives, their departure from your home allows you to do the same. That is, their departure gives you the opportunity to do the same if you\u2019re open to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you’re feeling the effects of Empty Nest Syndrome, have a date night and try Adventures From Scratch: Date Edition<\/a><\/em>! Tackle any of the 50+ scratch-off challenges, enjoy meaningful conversations using the prompts, or tell your partner how much you love them using one of the tear-out cards. Every adventure is a surprise!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Embracing the opportunities that being an empty nester typically presents starts with understanding what empty nest syndrome is. The syndrome basically accounts for the feelings of loss, sadness, anxiety, and lack of purpose that often plague parents when their kids leave home on a presumably permanent basis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even though there is no clinical diagnosis for the condition, empty nest syndrome is a very real thing that often strikes adults with children at midlife, typically when those grown-ups are between the ages of 40 and 60 years old in many cases. Life events like a divorce, remarriage, or menopause and different life stages, such as bearing children later than average or raising grandchildren as if they\u2019re your own during your retirement years, can impact when the empty nest syndrome will strike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In general, empty nesters adjust and get over the syndrome in about two months or so. Some people may continue to grapple with the syndrome\u2019s symptoms and real-life effects for longer, sometimes for years. Individuals who are going through a difficult time for different reasons, such as the existence of a health problem or the loss of a job, are more prone to wrestle with the syndrome for a longer stretch than people who don\u2019t have similar stressors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s common for people to liken the empty nest syndrome to the cycle of grief as individuals who are struck by the condition often go through similar stages of mourning. Here are the five stages that combine to make up the grieving process and a brief explanation of each one:<\/p>\n\n\n\n While men and women are equally vulnerable to empty nest syndrome, single parents, stay-at-home caregivers, and individuals who define themselves by their parenting lives are more apt to grapple with severe symptoms of the condition. It\u2019s important to be cognizant of the syndrome\u2019s symptoms so you can take fast action if you notice that the condition has morphed from being a difficult time of transition into a more serious problem that requires professional attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many parents throw themselves into family life when they have kids. When their children are young, adults spend time nurturing and providing for their children\u2019s needs around the clock. As their kids mature, parents often find themselves consumed with their children\u2019s activities. Attending games, performances, and recitals, helping out with homework, carpooling, and arranging birthday parties and parent-teacher conferences are examples of activities that occupy a lot of time for most parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When your last child heads off to college or moves out to join the workforce, you may feel like your life no longer has any purpose. In extreme cases, that empty, purposeless feeling can make it difficult to drag yourself out of bed in the morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Parents normally control their children\u2019s lives, particularly when their kids are young. While you may have given up some control when your kids hit their teenage years and earned some independence, some parents struggle to relinquish all of their control when their young adults move out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grown-ups who have difficulty giving up the control they once had over their children\u2019s lives and those who simply refuse to do so often become helicopter parents. While you might think that sounds cool, know that it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Helicopter parents are adults who insert themselves into the lives of their adult children and hover about them. No matter how pure your intentions might be, research shows that helicopter parenting creates a lower sense of well-being in young adults who are college-age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not unusual for the parents of newly departed kids to worry excessively or feel anxious about their children\u2019s well-being, especially if they haven\u2019t yet relinquished control of their kids. Although it\u2019s natural to worry about your kids regardless of their ages and levels of experience in the \u201creal world,\u201d it\u2019s unhealthy when that worry or anxiety becomes an obsession that results in you making phone calls and planning surprise visits with your children incessantly and intrusively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When they say goodbye to their live-in children for the last time, some parents are left with a deep sense of loss. While that problem is an issue in its own right, it can also create other problems, according to the Mayo Clinic. Those problems may include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Letting go of your adult child as he embarks on a new life without you is distressing to many caretakers and parents. That distress can cause you to experience seemingly spontaneous emotions over things that normally wouldn\u2019t upset you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may experience feelings of sadness when you see an upsetting commercial or you drive by your child\u2019s elementary school. Alternatively, you might catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and get scared that you\u2019re getting older. You may get frustrated with not having achieved the status you thought you would have by now. Some parents even report feeling resentful of their children for having left them all alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes, parents get restless when their child leaves home to start an independent life. If you\u2019re restless, you may find it difficult to concentrate or stay focused on the task at hand. You may also find it hard to redirect all the energy you would have expended on your child into other productive activities, and you end up fidgeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even if you have a partner, a ton of friends, and social coworkers, you may discover that you feel lonely after your last child leaves home. There are few things worse than feeling like you\u2019re all alone even when you\u2019re surrounded by familiar faces, but that sensation is a common feeling among empty nesters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you find that you cry a lot for long periods for two weeks or more, you feel helpless, or you get overly frustrated and irritated over small things, it might be a sign that you\u2019re falling into the grips of depression. Here are some additional signs that your empty nest syndrome has taken a potentially dangerous turn toward a more serious mental health problem that may require professional help to overcome:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPsychology Today\u201d reports that research indicates that empty nest syndrome has been \u201coverblown\u201d in recent years. The respected authority continues by reporting that many parents have a harder time when their kids exit their early childhood years and enter middle school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While that might be the case for some parents, it doesn\u2019t exonerate them or any other parent from the very real possibility that they may experience at least a mild case of empty nest syndrome. Whether you experience a mild case of the syndrome, a severe case, or your experience lands somewhere in between, you need to know how to cope with empty nest syndrome so you can adjust to your new life in a healthy manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before your adult child moves out, establish an open line of communication with her. Ask her about her experiences growing up in your home. While you don\u2019t necessarily want to conduct an exit interview, you do want to establish the foundation for the next phase of your relationship with your child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Talk to your child about how the two of you will communicate moving forward. Will she call on the same day and at the same time every week, or would she prefer to video chat every evening? Does your daughter plan to remain in contact with other family members like your significant other through you, or does she want to have joint exchanges on a platform like Zoom?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you and your child establish what your future line of communication will look like, do your best to avoid crossing any boundaries the two of you agree on. Remember, helicopter parenting sometimes leads to a reduced sense of well-being among college-age individuals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just like the means of communication may change when your kids move out, so will your relationship with them. As they go out into the real world, your kids will start to deal with adult issues and pressures that are likely all too familiar to you, such as paying bills, stretching their dollars, and dealing with conflict at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of telling your kids what to do about those issues, you can relate to their experiences and support them with genuine empathy. You can even share some pearls of wisdom offered up as a friend rather than directives issued by a parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Parents who work outside their home and stay-at-home parents may find that they have downtime for the first time in years when their children move out. Rather than running their kids from one activity to the other or making brown bag lunches for the next day, these parents are now free of their years-long obligations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the keys to beating empty nest syndrome is to embrace your newfound freedom. Your newly discovered \u201cme\u201d or \u201cus\u201d time is like a reward for all the time you invested in your children\u2019s lives instead of your own growth and development. You deserve this time, and it\u2019s yours to spend however you\u2019d like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t postpone taking advantage of your freedom. Recent events, such as the spread of the coronavirus, have led many young people to return to their familiar nest after a difficult or failed attempt at launching into adulthood. In July, 2020, the Pew Research Center reported that 52 percent of young adults aged 18 \u2013 29 years old were living with one or both of their parents, a figure that surpassed the previous record of 48 percent of fledgling adults living with their parents near the end of the Great Depression in 1940.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In February, 2020, approximately 47 percent of young adults lived with their parents, marking a sharp jump between that month and July of the same year. That percent change represents 2.6 million adult children who returned home over the ensuing five months. The number of adult children who returned home during that span rose the most among the youngest adults, meaning people in the 18 \u2013 24-year-old age group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Adults who return home to live with their parents are often referred to as \u201cboomerang\u201d children. With more than half of young adults currently living with their folks after they\u2019d moved out presumably for good, there is a strong chance that your kids will eventually return home at least temporarily. While you may welcome their return, you should still make the most of your freedom before you give them the key to your home again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a parent, it\u2019s likely that you put aside things you were once passionate about so you could tend to your kids. Now that your children are out of the house, why don\u2019t you pick up where you left off and dive back into the things you\u2019re still passionate about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to choose activities that are meaningful to you. When you engage in activities you don\u2019t truly care about, you won\u2019t succeed in filling the void left behind by your kids. If you do things that give you a purpose again, you\u2019ll find that void will fill up pretty quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you lost interest in the hobbies you used to love? If so, don\u2019t beat yourself up. People change as do their interests as they enter new phases of life. Look at your current situation as an opportunity to pick up a new hobby or two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re struggling with loneliness, it\u2019s wise to pick a hobby that involves others instead of one you\u2019ll do on your own. Do you have an interest in art? Enroll in an art class rather than painting or sculpting at home. Do you want to pursue a master\u2019s degree? Register for in-person classes instead of enrolling in online courses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many parents struggle to connect with their partners after their children move out. In many cases, people find that they\u2019ve spent so much time focusing on their kids over the years that they\u2019ve grown apart from their significant other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that the kids are gone, it\u2019s a great time for you and your SO to focus on the relationship you share. To better connect with your partner, find something the two of you can do together. You two don\u2019t have to choose an activity that you\u2019re both passionate about. Instead, you simply have to agree on something that you\u2019re both willing to do to improve your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One thing you may want to do to reconnect with your partner is order \u201cAdventures from Scratch: Couples Edition<\/a>.\u201d This book includes 55+ adventures you and your SO can do at home or on the fly at a vacation destination. Each adventure is meant to bring couples closer together and deepen the bonds between the participating parties. Some of the book\u2019s adventures include date-night activities while others are even more romantically oriented.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No matter which scratch-off adventure you choose, you and your partner will have a ton of fun working together to complete the challenge. If you end up in the bedroom before you wrap up your chosen adventure, you should still chalk it up as a win. In fact, you may want to reward your SO with something kinkier than usual if that happens. Why not? You don\u2019t have to worry about the kids interrupting or walking in on you two anymore, so go for it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just because your kids have flown the coop, it doesn\u2019t mean you should act like they don\u2019t exist. Even though they\u2019re starting an independent life, your children are still just that, the family members you\u2019ve known since the moment they were born.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No matter where your kids moved, your can minimize your feelings of loss by spending time with them. While you\u2019ll still be physically apart, platforms like Zoom and Skype make it a breeze for families to spend quality time together regardless of everyone\u2019s location.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAdventures from Scratch: Family Edition<\/a>\u201d includes more than 50 fun-filled adventures families can do together. The adventures in this book are wonderful for kids of all ages, so don\u2019t be shy about getting the grandkids involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After you choose an adventure, you can tear it out of the book, copy it, and send the adventure to your kids. Set up a \u201cplaydate,\u201d and have participants log in at the appointed hour. Once everyone is present, start the adventure. The household that finishes first should be given an award.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Along that line, you may want to get a token family trophy. As the winning household changes from one household to the next, the previous winner should send the trophy to the new champ. Possessing the trophy will likely become a hilarious bragging point as your family completes more and more challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are some other things you can do with your family even though your children no longer live at home:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your kids leaving home isn\u2019t an excuse to neglect your own self-care. If you\u2019ve fallen behind with screenings and checkups, get in touch with your health care provider to schedule them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Losing interest in things because you\u2019ve outgrown them is one thing. Doing the same because you\u2019re crushed by a sense of loss is quite another. Losing interest in your preferred pursuits because you\u2019re struggling to adjust to life without the kids around may be a sign of depression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even if you just suspect that your mental health is on the fragile side, it\u2019s imperative to seek help. You may want to join a support group for empty nesters. Alternatively, you might want to arrange professional help with a therapist, psychiatrist, counselor, or psychologist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many insurance policies will cover a set number of therapy sessions per year, provided those sessions are conducted by an approved provider. To learn what your benefits are in this context, contact your health insurance carrier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your carrier doesn\u2019t offer this type of benefit, don\u2019t let it stop you from getting the help you need. Seek out a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, or therapist who will work with you at an affordable rate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some people are reluctant to make radical changes as they\u2019re raising their kids. Now that your children are on their own, it\u2019s a great time to tackle new challenges you\u2019ve been putting off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did you bypass applying for a promotion or throwing your hat in the ring for a big project because it would\u2019ve upset your family life when your children were younger? There\u2019s no longer any reason for you to hesitate when it comes to advancing your career or skillset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Were you reluctant to fulfill your dream of living in another state or country earlier because you didn\u2019t want to uproot your kids during their formative years? If so, now may be the time for you to finally make that dream a reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With remote work having become a permanent arrangement for a lot of employers since COVID hit the global stage, it\u2019s easier than ever to work from anywhere in the world without having to change jobs or professions. So, what\u2019s holding you back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you always wanted to write the next best-seller, but felt guilty at the notion of investing your time in a pet project rather than spending time with your children? Now that they\u2019re gone, look into taking a sabbatical from work if you can afford it, and devote your full attention to writing. If you can\u2019t take off from work and it\u2019s too early to retire, dedicate a few nights per week to your project while your SO explores his or her own interests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Regardless of how hard you try to put forth a brave face or how much you\u2019re looking forward to a challenge, you may find that your emotions will get the better of you on occasion as you battle empty nest syndrome. To make negative emotions fade faster, let yourself experience them without judgment and accept that they\u2019re merely a reaction to one of life\u2019s events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The symptoms of empty nest syndrome<\/a> can include restlessness, worry, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness\u2014even a profound sense of loss.<\/p> <\/div> Empty nest syndrome<\/a> is very normal! With that said, it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Address it as soon as you recognize it. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and accept them.<\/p> <\/div> To cope with empty nest syndrome<\/a>, try new activities, like picking up a new hobby or volunteering. You could also grab your partner and uncover challenges in Adventures From Scratch: Date Edition<\/a><\/em>!<\/p> <\/div> <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It can be challenging for parents when children leave home, but you can move forward in a positive way. Find out how to conquer empty nest syndrome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":8058,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[260],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n\n\n\nA Look at Empty Nest Syndrome<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Symptoms of Empty Nest Syndrome<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A Loss of Purpose<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Irritation with the Loss of Control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Excessive Worry or Anxiety<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Profound Sense of Loss<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Distress<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Restlessness<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Loneliness<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Depression<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Establish and Maintain an Open Line of Communication with Your Loved One<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Spend Time Getting to Know Your Adult Children on Their Terms<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Embrace Your Freedom<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Revisit Previous Passions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Pick Up a New Hobby<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Focus on Your Relationship<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Spend Time Apart as a Family<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Focus on Self-Care<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Tackle New Challenges<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Feel Your Emotions and Accept Them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nFrequently Asked Questions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n